Please enable JavaScript in your browser to complete this form.Please enable JavaScript in your browser to complete this form.Understanding your relational needs Keystone Definitions Safety and Security: Is this someone you would call if you woke up scared in the middle of the night? Someone you would turn to in a moment of crisis? Learning and Growth: Is this someone who encourages you to try new things, to take chances, to pursue your life’s goals? Emotional Closeness and Confiding: Is this someone who knows everything (or most things) about you? Someone who can you call on when you’re feeling low and be honest with about how you’re feeling? Identity Affirmation and Shared Experience: Is this someone in your life who has shared many experiences with you and who helps you strengthen your sense of who you are? Romantic Intimacy: Is this someone who provides an intimate romantic connection for you? Help (Both Informational and Practical): Is this someone who you turn to if you need some expertise or help solving a practical problem (e.g., planting a tree, fixing your WiFi connection)? Fun and Relaxation: Is this someone who makes you laugh? Someone you would call to see a movie or go on a road trip with who makes you feel connected and at ease? DIRECTIONS Consider your five most influential relationships. For each one, select the type of relationship and assign a value for each keystone based on the above definitions. Rate each keystone on a scale of 1 to 5, with 1 being "very unlikely" for the relationship to provide support for that specific keystone. Remember, it's okay if not all—or even most—relationships offer all types of support. Relationship 1With 1 being very unlikely and 5 being very likely, how likely is it that this relationship will provide for you in the following keystones? Type of Relationship *FriendFriendSignificant OtherNeighborBossCoworkerSafety and Security *1- Very Unlikely1- Very Unlikely2345- Very LikelyLearning and Growth *1- Very Unlikely1- Very Unlikely2345- Very LikelyEmotional Closeness and Confiding *1- Very Unlikely1- Very Unlikely2345- Very LikelyIdentity Affirmation and Shared Experience *1- Very Unlikely1- Very Unlikely2345- Very LikelyRomantic Intimacy *0- Very Unlikely0- Very Unlikely12345- Very LikelyHelp (Both Informational and Practical) *1- Very Unlikely1- Very Unlikely2345- Very LikelyFun and Relaxation *1- Very Unlikely1- Very Unlikely2345- Very LikelyNextRelationship 2With 1 being very unlikely and 5 being very likely, how likely is it that this relationship will provide for you in the following keystones? Type of Relationship *FriendFriendSignificant OtherNeighborBossCoworkerSafety and Security *1- Very Unlikely1- Very Unlikely2345- Very LikelyLearning and Growth *1- Very Unlikely1- Very Unlikely2345- Very LikelyEmotional Closeness and Confiding *1- Very Unlikely1- Very Unlikely2345- Very LikelyIdentity Affirmation and Shared Experience *1- Very Unlikely1- Very Unlikely2345- Very LikelyRomantic Intimacy *0- Very Unlikely0- Very Unlikely12345- Very LikelyHelp (Both Informational and Practical) *1- Very Unlikely1- Very Unlikely2345- Very LikelyFun and Relaxation *1- Very Unlikely1- Very Unlikely2345- Very LikelyNextRelationship 3With 1 being very unlikely and 5 being very likely, how likely is it that this relationship will provide for you in the following keystones? Type of Relationship *FriendFriendSignificant OtherNeighborBossCoworkerSafety and Security *1- Very Unlikely1- Very Unlikely2345- Very LikelyLearning and Growth *1- Very Unlikely1- Very Unlikely2345- Very LikelyEmotional Closeness and Confiding *1- Very Unlikely1- Very Unlikely2345- Very LikelyIdentity Affirmation and Shared Experience *1- Very Unlikely1- Very Unlikely2345- Very LikelyRomantic Intimacy *0- Very Unlikely0- Very Unlikely12345- Very LikelyHelp (Both Informational and Practical) *1- Very Unlikely1- Very Unlikely2345- Very LikelyFun and Relaxation *1- Very Unlikely1- Very Unlikely2345- Very LikelyNextRelationship 4With 1 being very unlikely and 5 being very likely, how likely is it that this relationship will provide for you in the following keystones? Type of Relationship *FriendFriendSignificant OtherNeighborBossCoworkerSafety and Security *1- Very Unlikely1- Very Unlikely2345- Very LikelyLearning and Growth *1- Very Unlikely1- Very Unlikely2345- Very LikelyEmotional Closeness and Confiding *1- Very Unlikely1- Very Unlikely2345- Very LikelyIdentity Affirmation and Shared Experience *1- Very Unlikely1- Very Unlikely2345- Very LikelyRomantic Intimacy *0- Very Unlikely0- Very Unlikely12345- Very LikelyHelp (Both Informational and Practical) *1- Very Unlikely1- Very Unlikely2345- Very LikelyFun and Relaxation *1- Very Unlikely1- Very Unlikely2345- Very LikelyNextRelationship 5With 1 being very unlikely and 5 being very likely, how likely is it that this relationship will provide for you in the following keystones? Type of Relationship *FriendFriendSignificant OtherNeighborBossCoworkerSafety and Security *1- Very Unlikely1- Very Unlikely2345- Very LikelyLearning and Growth *1- Very Unlikely1- Very Unlikely2345- Very LikelyEmotional Closeness and Confiding *1- Very Unlikely1- Very Unlikely2345- Very LikelyIdentity Affirmation and Shared Experience *1- Very Unlikely1- Very Unlikely2345- Very LikelyRomantic Intimacy *0- Very Unlikely0- Very Unlikely12345- Very Likely Help (Both Informational and Practical) *1- Very Unlikely1- Very Unlikely2345- Very LikelyFun and Relaxation *1- Very Unlikely1- Very Unlikely2345- Very LikelyNextSafety and Security5–10 = Relational Gap • 11–17 = Opportunity to Grow • 18–25 = Relational StrengthLearning and Growth5–10 = Relational Gap • 11–17 = Opportunity to Grow • 18–25 = Relational StrengthEmotional Closeness and Confiding5–10 = Relational Gap • 11–17 = Opportunity to Grow • 18–25 = Relational StrengthIdentity Affirmation and Shared Experience5–10 = Relational Gap • 11–17 = Opportunity to Grow • 18–25 = Relational Strength Romantic Intimacy0–2 = Relational Gap • 3 = Opportunity to Grow • 4+ = Relational StrengthHelp (Both Informational and Practical)5–10 = Relational Gap • 11–17 = Opportunity to Grow • 18–25 = Relational StrengthFun and Relaxation5–10 = Relational Gap • 11–17 = Opportunity to Grow • 18–25 = Relational StrengthNameEmailEmailConfirm EmailWould you like your results emailed to you?These materials, definitions, or assessments are either taken or adapted from Marc Schulz and Robert Waldinger for CNBC. Copyright © 2023 by CNBC LLC. View the full article Submit